The US army's attempts to lure pro-Saddam forces into the open and to assert their authority in postwar Iraq appear to have sunk to comic depths.

The Fourth Infantry Brigade are reportedly toying with the idea of putting posters up around Tikrit that depict Saddam's face superimposed on the bodies of Veronica Lake, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Elvis Presley and Billy Idol.  Lieutenant-Colonel Steve Russell explained the 'devious' reasoning: "The bad guys will be upset, which will just make it easier for us to know who they are".  This sounds like the kind of skit that might be carried out by 'comedy terrorist' Aaron Barschak, the inept comedian who gatecrashes celebrity events disguised as Osama bin Laden in a dress, rather than a strategic initiative by the US military.  "If we can put these posters up in Tikrit and the enemy can't take them down, then at least it shows who owns the streets", said Sergeant David Cade. But while such stunts might raise a smile (or not) at the Edinburgh Fringe, as an assertion of American authority they are as desperate as Barschak's attempts at comedy.

Source: Text ripped off without
permission from
http://www.spiked-online.com

Last Friday saw the first annual "National Slacker's Day".  Billed as an opportunity to 'chill out and avoid work', organisers wanted employers to be lenient with employees that chose to say "Not in My Name" to work and lounge on the sofa.
"We have the longest working hours in Europe and it's just too stressful", stated self-proclaimed slacker Sid Skive.
"This is a good idea", said Ruth Lea of the Institute of Directors.  "We abolished Sundays in the 1980s, and we don't mind if people take one day off a year, as long as it's no more than that.  However it is important that they don't spend it doing what they want.  Rather we want them to paint collages of their happy workplace, and perhaps write some poetry about the 'work experience' so that their employers may find out what hard graft is really like".