campaign against GM foods was really just the tip of the iceberg.  The same people that want to change the genome of our tomatoes also probably murdered Princess Diana and covered up the truth that we didn't really land on the moon in 1969 - that really it's like the film Capricorn One and was made up in a Hollywood studio.
SD: Shocking, but aren't you concerned you might be getting a bit carried away?
MM: Look, you are young and naïve.  I've seen how government works.  It's an infernal hell-hole of lies, cover-ups and secrets.  Look what they did to David Kelly.
SD: But David Kelly killed himself - it was his decision.
MM: That's the official line, but we know he was truthfully assassinated and then it was made to look like he slit his wrists.  All because Mr Kelly was about to discover the truth that Iraq has shitloads of oil.
SD: Hmmm, with respect, Mr Meacher, I have a friend who might be able to help you.  It will involve you staying in a hospital for a while, but it's for the best.
MM: I'm NOT MAD!

Suddenly machine gun fire rips through the TWTWTW van.  The driver cannot evade the sinister black cars tracking Mr Meacher.

SD: Holy cow - you're right!
MM: They're going to kill me.  I have to tell you one last thing about a top secret government plan.  After Iraq, they want to…. Ugh.

And so Michael Meacher was shot dead.

To be continued….

Dear Son,
Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive.  I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast.  You won't know the house when you get home because we have moved.
About your father.  He has a lovely new job.  He has 500 men under him; he cuts grass at the cemetery.  There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in but it hasn't been working too good.  Last week I put Dad's shirt in, pulled the chain and haven't seen it since.
Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it is a boy or a girl yet, so I don't know if you are an auntie or an uncle.
Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whisky at the Dublin Brewery.  Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely.  They cremated him and it took five days to put out the fire.
I went to the doctor last Thursday and your father came with me.  The doctor put a small glass tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes.  Your father offered to buy it off him.
It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four.
We had a letter from the undertaker.  He said if the last payment on your grandfather's plot isn't paid within seven days, up he comes.

PS: I was going to send you £10 but I had already sealed up the envelope.