A confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."  The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...."  The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."

cup of coffee, therefore making humanity unite in the outside world.
SD:  So you have the classic psychotic symptom where you find meaning in everything mundane around you.  You believe that by manipulating these 'symbols', you can control cosmic processes hitherto belonging only to the realm of God.  What other examples of this can you describe?
FB:  Last night in the kitchen, loads of patients were using the microwave to heat their drinks.  But I realised this would increase the heat of the Sun too much.  We need to increase the heat a little to send out a solar flare that will ignite Jupiter, turning it into a new Sun and therefore abolishing night time.  But it's a delicate process.  If we heat the Sun too much, it will blow up and end life as we know it.  So I had a bowl of Frosties to offset the power of the microwave.  I then drank the milk from the cereal through different coloured straws just to make sure the connection was being made.  Now I know the Sun will not blow up, and that everything is proceeding as planned.  I have an awful lot of responsibility here - so much to balance and control.  I could do with some help from other Jedis, but I'm the only one here at the Centre at the moment.
SD:  OK, Frank, that's all we have time for.  I hope you get better soon.