correctness gone mad".  And the Campaign for Real Ales CAMRA argued that the national RDA should not become legal statute.  Nevertheless some alcohol outlets have praised the Government's courage.  Mr J.D.Wetherspoon, founder of the notorious pub chain, said "We have been operating a similar system in our Leisure Facilities for some years now.  Through the use of CCTV we monitor how much people drink, and if they exceed the weekly limit, we give them a leaflet for Alcoholics Anonymous and bar them until they have attended counselling".

          Sometimes death ensues, usually accompanied by the victim shouting, "Hey Fred, bet you can't do this!" or "Wanna see how fast it goes??"   If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you  quarantine yourself in a pub.
          Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer headaches and divorce. On the up side, there is not, and probably never will be, a permanent cure.

          An angry Tony Blair has hit out at Jemini, the British pop group that failed to score a single point at this year's Eurovision Song Contest.  "Look", said Mr Blair, off-the-record, "it was always going to be difficult to win at this, what with my alienating all our former allies in Europe.  But Jemima were simply out-of-tune, and crap.  To restore faith in Great Britain, I may have to declare Regime Change on Latvia.  The Votes of Mass Destruction used by other European countries like Israel may also require dismantling.  Oh why didn't they just sing D:Ream's 'Things Can Only Get Better' anyway?"

          This film centres around a brand new concept, i.e. that mankind's technological arrogance has let the genie out of the bottle - machines have either:
a) caused a nuclear war, subduing humanity, or
b) enslaved humanity as battery fodder

Such is the case that the relationship between mankind and his tools is reversed: what we once controlled has escaped us and now rules over us with an iron fist.  This fascinating premise is the backdrop for a series of high-profile stunts and excellent special effects blah blah.           Anne-Marie Brochu has a Phd in Cultural Studies.

          The news came as results from the trial Domestic Violence Register found men failing to inform the police whenever they went home.  Given the failure of the Register, women's groups such as the Clare Short/Mo Mowlam Foundation have welcomed Mr Blair's radical thinking.